So today I had AP Computer Science (they don't call it programming, apparently, I'll have to check) in which I finished my program the second time around. That's right, for the second time. Apparently I did it wrong and I made a 'complex' class that stood for two complex variables modifying each other, so I had to do it all over again. I don't care anymore, doesn't matter at all. Or perhaps I do. In any case, I altered it, and I liked it. Next was the dreaded APUS. I still hate it, but I asked some questions, managed to pull out an answer to a question about the alien and sedition acts and laughed a couple times about Dennis Hastert becoming President and such. Driver's ed, shock shock, had a VIDEO and not normal craptastical powerpoint. It still managed to be kinda... bad. I didn't like it. Lunch was next, in which I told Vicky I wouldn't be on the bus. She was upset. I was too, I don't like the idea of being here so long. Sigh, it happens. Maybe I do like it, no matter how bad this computer is, the chair is comfortable (although it *could* be moreso, I'm not complaining) the windows are big and bright, good for looking through, and it feels like a real library, a modern one too. I kind of like it, what with the window styles and exposed heating ducts. It looks nice. So then I had math, no big deal, and then I was getting ready to spend a long time doing a diary entry. Well, that turned out bust, as I only have an hour and a half and wanted to check my email (I need my goddamn Sims Online playtest) and do a little homework, possibly Latin and also English. I don't wanna, but it doesn't matter. It'll get done, whether in 10 minutes or at home late late late tonight when I'm ready to fall asleep in my jeans. Hm. It's Eric Mitacek. I'm seeing more of him lately. Sparks a new topic which can be melded in with meeting up with Vicky. As I said, I told her I wouldn't be on the bus, and she wants me to ride the bus home and back. Frankly, I didn't want to. Doesn't sound fun at all, and I wanted to get something done. So we hung out by the theater, and we hung out by the Coke Machine (once I got her to stand up, dammit. I was *very* thirsty) and we hung out in general. Hung out should be used loosely. But anyhow, I've been thinking about that. How it's kind of exposing me to a different group of people (like Eric Mitacek and Ian - I am around them more often). I wonder whether I'm as special as I'm made out to be (had to minimize because someone came by who I didn't want reading this) and I wonder how we possibly click so well. Don't get me wrong, it's a good thing, but from an outside point of view it doesn't seem like it should have worked. Maybe it's that she's changing or maybe it's that I'm changing - I know that I'm certainly becoming a different person, because 6 months ago I wouldn't have gotten along with her as well as I do now, and back in late eighth grade early freshman year, not at all - and I'm, quite frankly, a loser. I'm self conscious, I'm tremendously honest, my interests lie about a mile out of bounds of most anyone else, and most of all I'm trying to separate myself from those who are very much like me, because they start to bother me. Most of all, it's that she's persistent, and I don't like giving into persistence. She kept trying to get me to ride the Foster home and back and I didn't because frankly, it seemed like too much work. That seems really asshole-y of me, and I hate it. Also, I have no patience for anything that's going to take a decent amount of time, which should tell you something right off the bat. And I take everything too personally, it drives me nuts. I mean, we are very sarcastic, but I have a very hard time taking sarcasm, especially criticism. Even for little things, whether it's music or what I'm wearing or whatever, and whether it's sarcastic or not. And I have a hard time believing I click very well with anyone who does do that. I'm in a total state of disbelief right now, truth be told. It's kinda sad, I wish it wasn't that way. I also hate the Northside Forums, because everyone is so critical and rude... I hate it. I'm hating a lot more often recently. It's a bitch. Sigh, I'm down altogether. I hate school, I hate work, I hate focusing, I hate the forums, and I hate myself, and how I am, mostly. I'm on a depressed kick, aren't I? Anyhow, seeing as I'm running out of things to get off my chest and the state of bummed-ness isn't going away, I'd better end now. I wrote for 18 minutes straight.