11:01 p.m.
October 13, 2003
I seem to be headed in one direction, lately. Whether I go up or down is anyone's guess. I succeed, I've reassured myself, I get that mutual care that I've lacked. I fail, well, cynicism is there for me, and I'll probably have an upswing at some point.

I was talking to Russ on the topic today, and aside from mocking me about synonyms and me complaining about how much he and Carl act like they'll be relationship-destitute even though they both have longer, generally better and more relationships than I have, he said that I'm probably the most not-ugly guy in that group.

I don't think that means much today.
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