There's so much about me that I hate. I hate my diet. I hate that whenever I get within a mile of something healthy my gag reflexes kick in - I have to pick at a piece of food if there's a shred of lettuce in it. I hate that I'm away from home so much and end up eating fast food. I hate how I feel ill when I see healthy food, and I hate how shitty it feels when I simply see an item of healthy food. Shit that grows from the ground. I hate that my parents crack jokes about it. I hate that Jenn always bugs me about it. I hate that I have such a strong mental reaction.

I fucking hate it.

I hate how I exercise irregularly, how I'm orchestrating ways to get around the fucking CPS's ban, how I have to disregard people I respect, I hate my stomach.

I hate how I make excuses, saying that I'm a big guy, so I need a lot of food. I hate how I'm going to pack it on before I hit my Freshman 15. And yes, I still hate that I don't want to go anywhere special for college.

I hate my sloth. I hate my character. I'm just too fuckin' disgusted with myself.
prev
next
archive