Jenn, I guarantee I'll remember you. You were, if nothing else, memorable.
In terms of a positive versus a negative memory? Well, you shat on that.
I had problems with your personality before we dated. We dated for a while because I felt like we made a real connection, until I realized that (a) I'm no different than any of the other guys you went after and (b) you were bat-shit insane.
I'm not shitting you here. Some people might be tempted to say someone's crazy in a totally flippant way. But you? You, my friend, are totally psychotic. You have no regard for anyone other than yourself.
When I told my therapist about how you tried to ruin my chances of any sort of relationship, friendly or more, she asked me why I thought you did it. She asked, "Maybe she was jealous?" I knew that wasn't it. I know that your emotional spectrum exists in some bizarre area outside classification in the English language. I told her "I've stopped trying to understand her". I've desperately tried, believe you me, but that's stupid. I tried for three months to understand you, to figure out what you mean.
And you know? You seem sent to try to ruin people emotionally. You try to jerk people around. And you do, mostly. You didn't get to me as much as you could have. But there was a point where I had no idea what your problem WAS. You seemed cold and emotionless sometimes and you had layer and layer of emotion built up inside that you could attribute it to. I never could believe you. You would stick with the most retarded things - If you thought today was Tuesday, you would not let go of it even if proven incorrect.
In truth, Jenn, you didn't get to me as much as you would have liked to. I'm not emotionally ruined, as you saw pretty clearly. My waking days aren't full of active spite for you, nor is it for longing or anything. In fact, more than anything, you serve as a bonding point - I can always feel better with my friends discussing how you're a terrible person.
You try to be the shining light in everyone's life, you try to make everything into a big fucking deal, and yet...
Here's an example. I was feeling depressed. I'd been fighting with a friend, I'd been generally down in the dumps, and you message me to try to get me to shave so I could be more "socially acceptable". What the FUCK? You try to be this insightful, relatable person, and usually you're so far off the mark that it's disgusting. You acted like I was this socially awkward hermit, when really, I was just frustrated with one person in particular. And I hated you for what you tried to do - teach me, like I was some sort of retarded child.
You're a fucking pitywhore who can't function without a boy to emotionally abuse. You have these weekly crushes, and you try to make this massive, personal emotional connection with every one of them. How do you think the other side would feel if they knew you did it every week, and what they thought was someone trying to understand them was just your weekly ritual? Nevermind that after a while, people start seeing through your bullshit. I know some people who are afraid of getting to know you after hearing how awful you are.
Until April 14th, however, I didn't think you could be blatantly venomous. I didn't think you would do something just to spite someone. But you did. Nevermind what you did, as it didn't work (You were a day too late). I thought your social ineptitude and your occasional bouts of face-to-face cruelty was the limit. But you tried to ruin something extremely important to me, and that was where it ended. We were on fair terms until that moment; since that moment, I have despised you.
You're such a victim. Everyone is against you, no one likes you, all your boyfriends like someone else. If that's true, then it's your own goddamned fault. You drive people away actively. You're obsessively self-absorbed, and are a compulsive liar for no reason. You're ridiculously concerned with non-factors, and abuse so many of the liberties people give you. You don't even give a shit when people call you on it. Until you grow the fuck up, you're going to keep driving people away. Once you get out of high school, that'll be a problem. Here's hoping that you fix yourself the fuck up, because you're currently a waste of humanity. I despise you.