Don't get me wrong, I've been trying to talk about it, but my eyes don't focus and I stop caring. I get to this when I'm tired or waking, because otherwise there's shit to do.
For one, it's too fucking cold in this room I mean seriously.
I went to Diona's on Monday. I had just amde a poor call to my mom on the train where our reception was iffy at best, where we were still covering a few essentials. By the time we transferred, I had seriously lost it. I couldn't really stand being away from home anymore. I sort of just rested my head in her breasts. I went to Diona's and we had a nice night, watching a DVD.I liked it. I don't know if she knows taht I did, but we parted warmly.
College should be awesome, I don't doubt that it will be, but damn, why's it so hard? Three people I had in my dorm at separate times and I just keep talking about shit, and no one blurts in, no one even tries to beat my shit. It's frustrating. People walk into my room and just don't want to talk. When I run out of shit to say, they don't want to start up. Awkward silence, bitches.
I'm still nigh falling asleep right now. It's too fucking early.
Diona was upset last night. At first it was because of me - I was spending too much time with them and not enough with her, and she didn't know what to do. She almost left, and probably would have if I didn't spend the rest of the evening on her. We hugged up as best as one can on a wet blanket on the park ground, but there's only so much you can do. Her mom called constantly, eventually forbidding her from going out for the rest of the week because she had gone out twice already that week. The weekend is included, apparently, beyond any reason. If she goes out today, she can't go out 'ever'. Diona's mom's a bitch.
I tried to reassure her, be supportive, but there's only so much I can do. That's the enraging part - I can't do shit about it. Her parents affect my life, but I can't affect them. What assholes.
Her dad's OK, I think.
I'm falling asleep on the desk chair. I need some goddamn breakfast.
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